Many, but not all, parents of children on the autism spectrum know exactly what I'm talking about with that one word. These are the tantrum like states that a children with a PDD can work themselves into, where you're pretty much helpless as a parent - and it's more than all you can handle that to just to protect the child from injuring him or herself. Lucy had one last night, proceeded by one in the morning. For parents that have not witness one of these up close, sometimes it can take the form of a Linda Blair like bouncing to the floor, straight from scenes the Exorcist - Lucy will hurl herself into the air, only to land flat on her back on the ground - as if she were being hurled by an invisible force. From there she will bang her head into the ground repeatedly, all the while screaming at an increasingly higher pitch, accompanied by the same kind of increased volume. The hardest part as a parent is that, by the time these meltdowns have hit this stage, there's simply no amount of consoling that you can do to get your child out of this state - it no longer has ANYTHING to do with being "sad", and almost always has nothing to do with being "sad" or "angry" in the first place. Conversely it usually is brought on by factors that are beyond your average neurotypical's senses, it could simply be that the lights are too bright, or something seemingly benign like that. It could be as simple as, in the case of yesterday with Lucy, the natural chaos produced by moving around rooms of the house in order to paint.
The techniques to deal with these meltdowns are fairly primitive. The only one I've had moderately consistent (nothing works 100% of the time, of course) succcess with is firmly (but not too agresssively) grabbing her shoulders facing her, getting her to look into my eyes, and either suggesting that "it's okay", or asking "what is wrong, Lucy?". Rare is the time when she can actually answer the second question - and she sometimes looks back in my eyes and appears to wonder why I might be asking such a question in the first place. When successful, it's almost as if a light has been switched, and a meltdown stops immediately. When not successful, it will continue and mission number one becomes making sure she doesn't injure her head, cupping it from the backside - to put yourself between the walls, & floors where she might injure herself. On rare occassion, getting her to lie down, either on the couch or a bed (with her favorite pillow & blanket), might do the trick, and get her to finally self soothe herself out of it. For parents who have had, or been around, a colicky baby, that is the best analogy I can use to desribe it - except that the child is larger, has far more force of will, strength, and consolation is equally nearing impossible.
To change subjects slightly, I wish my HV20 had worked out of the box - I had to send it back to Canon for repair or outright replacement, something was wrong with the playback controls on the camera. Hope to have it back soon - yesterday would have made for a valuable lesson for new parents dealing with a child on the Autism Spectrum - that sometimes the best techniques you have are simply NO match for the trajectory of a meltdown. It has nothing to do with sadness, it is sensory overload, nothing more - and nothing less. Our next door neighbor was present for the meltdown in the night time, and even though she had seen one before, I don't think she had actually she one full boar like last night. It's hard to watch, there's no doubt, and I imagine it must be far worse to experience.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
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Todd,
Just read your site and wish you luck on hte film. I am part of the Aspies of Austin group that meets in Lakewood once a month. My Aspie daughter is 13 and my husband is likely Aspie, too. We also have a son, 8, who is ADHD, so it's been a circus at our house. It's certainly true that you have to keep your sense of humor and bond well with your spouse.
Glad you're having luck with Open Door. My girl's montessory school was awful to her, so I had to pull her out and send her to Elsass Academy, where she barely squeeked through the remaining nine months before starting kinder.
She's a handful, but she's brilliant. If she can learn to work and play well with others, she'll change the world. Otherwise, we hope she doesn't end up in jail.
She's a fabulous artist, which started at age 2. And an excellent communicator, as long as she's the center of attention. She has a variety of obsessions, many of which change throught the years. One of our favorites was when she had to know whether susch and such was 'durable.' It might be a rock she fou\nd, a plastic toy... It just cracked us up - then became really annoying.
Probably the best thing we ever did for her was get her a puppy at age 9 or 10. A little puppy that she had to take out in the wee hours of the morning and take care of. (under our watchful eye.) It's a lhasa, and it adores her. It's uncondiional love, and has helped her ability to empathise, I think.
Well, good luck. Perhaps we will see you at the July meeting.
Laura Wright
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